What the...

15 August is the day I realized that Afghanistan can be a tough place to live. This is the day my shower was interrupted by a large, "Kabooooom", I ran out in to the hallway and noticed the ceiling tiles were falling down, lights exploded and smoke in the air. What a freakin' morning! Well, a girl in the hallway noticed my terrycloth attire and recommended I put on more clothing before running out of the building to the bunker. After slipping on a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops, we were off to hide out in a metal bunker only 100 m or less from the explosion! Sirens, people yelling and lots of smoke filled the air as we sat quietly...or I sat quietly wondering why they attacked our base. Smirks and jokes started to come out from some of the people but all I wanted was silence...
Within an hour I returned to the building to put on my uniform and I found a sweet Afghan woman that cleans our building walking up and down crying in the hallway. A few of us decided to get her out of the damaged area so she grabbed her bag and I walked with her to a safe location on the other side of base. As we slowly left the building, we noticed emergency vehicles speeding past as well as footprints on the ground, outlined in blood. Both of us were a little shocked from the blast but we held hands all the way. I returned to the building soon after to help with clean up and the brevity of the explosion finally hit me pretty hard. We all worked quickly to clean up the damage so ladies could come back in to get their belongings. By evening we all had new rooms to sleep in and most of us were exhausted.
So, I'm okay now. After speaking with several local Afghans and asking about attacks and explosions, they told me that the best thing they can do is just keep living and praying they will not be close to the next blast. Most of my Afghan co-workers were not very concerned about the car bomb..almost as if they have become desensitized to the violence.
Has this bombing changed me? Yes. Do I still believe we should be here in Afghanistan? Definitely. Why? Because Afghans are human beings that deserve peace just like we have in the United States...nothing's ever perfect.
On 16 Aug 09, the sun came up as I glanced at the ceiling wondering what else I can do to help end the violence and hatred. No thoughts of leaving or giving up. My determination is stronger than ever.

Maui Bound

Almost 7 months since I left San Diego and now, it's time to decompress for a while....white beaches, pina coladas, the smell of coconut suntan lotion, no flack jackets, kevlars, 9 mil on my hip or bunkers....just the warmth of my daughters smile and the hand of my soulmate!
As I look back over the first half of my deployment in Afghanistan, there are a few key images and thoughts that come to mind:
1. As we drove in to Kabul for the first time, there was an Afghan man in a deserted field praying to Allah on a small, tattered rug...with a look of pure peace and contentment.
2. The wavering flags of 40 countries around the world who serve across Afghanistan...all in a circle in front of the HQ building on the ISAF Compound.
3. Buying my first hand-made bracelet from a 6 year old on the street and wondering how he learned English so well...
4. Seeing a cream-colored dog with his tail tucked lying on the road and realizing it was still alive although many Afghans would rather them not be.
5. Gathering at the Afghan Government Media Information Center (GMIC) to teach my first Public Relations class to over 38 Afghan Ministry trainees...this was the day I knew my relationship with Afghanistan would be for a lifetime.
6. Lifting off in a Blackhawk bound for Methar Lam, absorbing the beauty of the Afghan mountainscape, studying the mud homes that stretched for miles and miles, and capturing the smiles and wonderment of the 3 Afghan media experiencing a helicopter ride for the first time:)
7. Wonderful Afghan cuisine served every day at GMIC - jasmine rice, fresh chopped tomatoes, onions, green peppers, cabbage, and jalepenios; naan (flat bread but better), and always a group to eat with.
8. Seeing 6 large construction boxes with Satellite Antenna equipment inside and wondering how on earth will we be able to put this together...on the 3rd day, after a day of snow and an attack in the city of Kabul, a 2.4m Satellite Antenna was ready for action. Willpower and plenty of optimism will go a long way on the road to success!!
9. Walking in to a home filled with orphans, beautiful children living in poverty and without a family...learning new Dari words from them as they learned English from me, showing them a video camera for the first time, laughing as they took turns jump roping and counting - yak, do, sei, char, panj..., knowing that one day I want to be a mom to a child who doesn't have one.
10. Sitting in a focus group session with Afghan women and letting the tears glide down as they shared part of their lives, troubled, oppressed lives, with me. Eyes of despair yet tough as nails; hearts full of sorrow yet ready to give love; and hands aged and battered yet always there to provide to her children and husband.

As I take my leave and spend 2 weeks with my family, I want to share pictures and video and my words with as many people as possible. My work with the Afghan Ministries is developing and I want others to know the progress and feel the hope that I and many others feel.

Mahalo and Salam Aleikum

Racking up Afghanistan Sky Miles...

Finally back from my tour de Afghanistan! This time...Kabul to Kandahar to Bagram to Khost and back to Kabul! Midnight flight from Kabul to Kandahar proved to be quite an adventure considering I spent 2 hours conversing with Afghan Army soldiers, showing them pictures and video from my laptop, learning more Dari and noticing how normal they are when you get past the language barrier. Just a group of young men waiting for their plane so they can get home to visit their families. Upon our arrival to Kandahar, the temp was still at about 90 degrees F at 0130....but I had a big surprise awaiting - a large room with air conditioning and a queen sized bed! I thought I was seriouly delusional but, no, I could roll two or more times on the bed w/out falling out!
After doing my dirty work in Kandahar, it was off to Bagram for a layover before arriving in Khost, FOB Salerno. They offered Pizza Hut in the terminal but this was NOT like ours at home...it was like a chunk of nasty cheese on greasy bread..okay the grease is pretty much like home.
On to FOB Salerno...not sure if I was going to see the base b/c it is totally blacked out at night! But the stars in the sky were simply amazing! You could even see the milky way or maybe that was just clouds?? This base is within walking distance to the Pakistan border and unlike Kabul, it is not a spot that I could just walk or drive off base to meet with Afghans. Some of the Afghans that work on the base, live on the base b/c of the security risks and threats from the insurgents.
We were able to get both of their DVIDS Satellite Systems operational and even set up live to cover the U.S. Ambassador's press conference with the Agribusiness Development Team, Minister of Agriculture, Khost Provincial Governor and the Head of Agricultural Development at Khost University. What a great program they have here. Helping the Afghans learn how to improve their skills at farming, creating better irrigation flow and raising livestock. There are now 6 Agribusiness Development Teams in Afghanistan, with more to come in the future.
Back to Kabul on Thursday evening...and a hot shower was the best of the month!
Saturday I worked at GMIC and we decided to take several of the care packages over to a local orphanage...I miss little ones!!! They loved the writing tablets, blow pops, hair bands, and of course the jump ropes. Zobaida, a GMIC co-worker, has adopted one of the girls but she is only allowed to visit her and take her home one night a week. In the Afghan culture, adoption is frowned upon, meaning there are several orphanages filled with children who can't find a good home. The only way adoptions are accepted is if the child does not have any living relatives who claim to know the child. What a shame...hopefully this will change in the future but for now we have all fallen in love with these children and will return soon to bring more school supplies and sports equipment.
What a month...in a few days I'm off to Maui, HI and then to San Diego to see my family, my husband and daughter. How fortunate we are.

Rooftop in Kabul...and Jalalabad...and

I just love dancing on rooftops all across Afghanistan..yes, this has become a part of my official duties. Well, I don't do this right away, normally once I get a confirmed lock on two satellites orbiting the earth and my video reaches Atlanta, Georgia! Since my return from Vancouver, Canada, I've had the distinct pleasure of climbing onto 4 rooftops so far and I hope to climb on to several more before the year is out. There's something very calming about being out in the open, escaping the crunching of rocks under moving boots, gun fire at a distant range, Afghans working on digging or filling another hole. So I'm currently traveling around Afghanistan to all of our sites that have a Digital Video and Imagery Distribution System (DVIDS) to ensure their equipment functions properly and to train them on proper operating/repair procedures. Who woulda thought that English Lit. and Secondary Educ. major would be turning screws, troubleshooting software problems on a computer and enjoying every minute of it?
Other than jumping on planes and helos to get to different locales, I'm still enjoying meeting and training new and former students at GMIC. Some of the students who took my classes in Feb are now calling and emailing and telling us how much they appreciated the courses and are asking for additional classes! Luckily, I've helped GMIC recruit 13 additional military instructors who have helped to build our program. We have trained over 230 Afghans and hope to reach almost 1000 by the end of the year. I never imagined that someone would pay me to do what I do but I thank Allah every day that this program is available. We are helping the Afghans build their vocational skills and assisting them in learning how to communicate effectively with the public through the media.
As a surprise by the GMIC Staff, I was invited to speak at a Teacher's Appreciation Ceremony at a private school in Kabul. After the ceremony, we all cut a cake the size of a regular car tire - huge - and talked about the future of education in Afghanistan. What a great experience!

So much to do and so little time. Other items of note - Lightening Storms in Afghanistan are simply gorgeous, as are sunsets; tea time isn't about the tea, its about relationships; my Afghan friends love to fatten me up with their awesome food; happiness here in Kabul isn't as much about being happy with possessions as it is with being happy with yourself, your family and your friends. Salam Aleikum.

Kabul to Vancouver...eh

Well, the trip from Kabul to Vancouver should make a cool story for my grandkids one day. Let's start with our adventures at the Kabul International Airport...hmm...make sure everyone has a passport and be ready for the full body, heavy pat down in two or more locations before you get on the plane. And, another lesson learned...if you happen to conceal your ammunition in your carry on bag on accident, you can expect the Afghans to spread the word like wildfire, leave you standing there waiting for them to decide what to do with you and hopefully you will find an English-speaking person to explain why the 15-rounds of M-9 rounds were left in your carry on bag...ahhh. Big mistake that I don't wish on anyone else.
Now, on to the flight on Pamir Air, an Afghan Airline. Well, it was a nice, clean airplane with plenty of free seats so we could spread out...and they even did a raffle drawing with our tickets, handing out $100 US dollars to lucky winners! Better than any United or Delta flight I've been on.
Arrival in to Dubai quickly turned precarious as we, yet again delt with the fact that two people in our party did not have US Passports. The men working in the airport looked like Arabian Knights with their stark white man dresses and a single black rope that held the white covering on their head. They seemed to float around from spot to spot, flicking the scarf on their head to the side as you engaged them in conversation. But, despite the passport issues, I talked them into using their official military orders and IDs as well as understanding we were travelling back to our own country. Close call be we made to our flight before midnight.
14 1/2 hours later, we hit Dulles Intl. Airport in Washington D.C. Sleepy, a bit hungry and ready to stretch out, we head towards our Chicago flight. Everything seemed so colorful as we debarked from the plane. I couldn't help but notice all the smells coming from the fast food shops, the bright lights on neon signs, the people with chubby faces, and the most intriguing was the children running about with their parents. I felt happy yet sad to be back in the U.S. because we have a very complex, materialistic culture, one that puts self before others, appetite in front of health and greed in front of giving. I missed Afghanistan and still do at this moment.
From Chicago we landed safely in Vancouver, Canada....27 hours after lifting off from Kabul, Afghanistan. Now in Canada, I know that we are surely the luckiest people in the world, living in North America, everything is only a thought away...but is this always a good thing?
After only 3 days away from Afghanistan, I feel my American appetite coming back, my desire to buy things, my thirst for more entertainment. I can't wait to return to Afghanistan, a place that forces me to put away my selfish needs and give to those who truly need it. I hope to bring back photos of this trip to share with my Afghan friends, along with gifts for them.
As I run along the harbor, the air glides through my lungs, the unpolluted air that conditions my body for the rest of its journey. The mountains ahead of me are adorned with homes...from a distance I can't tell if I'm in Canada or Afghanistan. Both are quiet and at peace at times.
Salam Aleikum.

Eyes of an Afghan Child

From a distance she appeared to be no more than 5 years old, clinching tightly the hand of a younger boy by her side. Draped in a dirt-stained white scarf, I moved closer to catch a glimpse of her nervous eyes. Head down, scurrying away from my bold, armored jacket and helmet, her eyes and mine parted ways. Yet I felt her presence, among young boys, long bearded men crouched on the side of the road, and among the donkeys as they shifted back and forth carrying a heavy load of stones. She reappeared a few minutes later, brown-haired toddler in tow, as if she were his mother and again shifted her eyes for a second towards mine...at last our eyes connected. A beautiful soul, aged well beyond her years, a girl yet a woman, a child without childhood who saw another woman dressed like a man in her village. Who is this lone figure, able to move about the men freely with her face uncovered, even shaking hands with the men and taking their photographs.
As we loaded into our vehicles and edged slowly down the dirt path, she walked ever so quickly behind our vehicle, still gripping her brother's hand, looking sternly at me as our eyes grew further and further apart. A tear rolled down my cheek while absorbing the dichotomy of the beautiful mountains draped in the background and the children wearing the only set of clothing they own.
Jalrez District is a small area in Wardak Province that many Afghans see as a dangerous area in Afghanistan but on this day, with local villagers walking the streets, selling goods, sharing their stories and offering thanks, this is a place that is filled with peace, not war. But the media will say what they will, trying to create a headline instead of trying to prevent human misery.
I have to say I am falling in love with Afghanistan, with the friends I have made, with the caring nature of the people I have met and with their yearning to improve their lives.

Revv your engines...

Jalrez District, Wardak Province reminds me of Crested Butte in the early spring. Apple trees are beginning to sprout pinkish white flower buds, the air is crisp and light and the mountains are layered for miles beyond the eye's sight with snow-covered peaks, grassy knobs and jagged rocks piled in succinct patterns. We travelled there on Blackhawks to cover the Afghan Public Protection Forces Homecoming after completing their training in Methar Lam District, Laghman Province. After an hour long drive in an MRAP (uparmored vehicle), I felt like I had just recieved the longest amusement park ride in my life!! Luckily, the media reps with me had a sense of humor as we held on to handles inside the vehicle and bumped along for several miles!! Our first stop was at a local school where we met with hundreds of school-aged BOYS who recieved school supplies from the Governor of the district. Such cute little faces...I wanted to hang out with them for a while but we had a tight schedule. See pics...Our next stop was at the Homecoming event which had all 243 Afghan Public Protection Forces there as well as another 400 or so local elders, family members and friends...all MEN. I counted three women, including myself at the event!! With just my uniform on and taking my helmet off, I was stared at by most men b/c they do not normally see women out at events nor do they usually see them with their faces showing. This resulted in the paparatzi effect after the ceremony. A few U.S. soldiers next to me had to tell the Afghans to stop taking photos and I turned away so they would walk away. I am quickly learning about the cultural norms here!! And the bathrooms at this event..hmm...let's see. Well, have you ever walked down the street and seen a manhole in the street? Yep, that is pretty much what I hovered over but because of the bumps on the trip and my belt squeezing my bladder, that was one of the most enjoyable bathroom experiences ever. Lesson Learned for women: don't hover to close to the front of the circle or it might not...

And as for today's wonderful first time experience, I met with several Afghan women to hear their concerns about Afghanistan's Govt., health care, employment opportunities and education. These women were so brave to meet with us and one even gave me her head scarf as a gift before leaving. I was brought to tears within a few minutes of talking to them. So many stories of death or injuries or corruption. And on top of this they are women so they are looked down upon by the majority of men. But today, we became friends, we chatted, had lunch together and now I am sold on helping these women in the future. I can't go into details b/c of security reasons as to how they communicate and provide financial assistance to each other but I can say it is very similar to the "micro loan" process. These women have found a way to bond, to support each other in ways that are lacking in their traditional home setting. But the most depressing issue I believe came of our meeting is that all 6 women are illiterate. Can't read or write their own language..mostly b/c when they were young girl's were not allowed to attend school. They are begging for reading and writing classes, they want to learn how to start their own businesses and above all, they want to be heard by the world. I'm exhausted from a very long week but know that once I'm energized tomorrow, there is so much more that needs to be done:) Carpe Diem.